20 Weeks

I will be 20 weeks with baby #2 in just a couple of days. Baby boy #2 that is! Half way!

I'm finally getting around to taking a picture of myself and writing down a little bit about this pregnancy. 

It's definitely been different this time around both emotionally and physically. 

Of course I have another child to attend to so I can't nap whenever I want, I felt more sick this time around and it lasted longer, and worst of all for me is the teenage acne I've developed. 

I don't intend for this to be a sob story, but I've never been the girl that everyone says "You're so pretty" to and I've never been the skinny girl. But I have always had really great skin. To be honest, most of my confidence in my outward appearance is because I have my mom's skinny legs and I have clear skin and a natural tan. Well these days I literally cringe when I look in the mirror. I've NEVER had acne. I've always had the occasional breakout that time of the month or a pimple here and there but nothing like what has come over my face lately. Hormones... their a certain word that starts with a  b I tell ya. 

This time around I'm also a lot more nervous. Round number 1 I was just all kinds of excited because I didn't know what was coming. I'm not really nervous for labor, just post partum. I had such a hard time emotionally with Ames that I'm really nervous to see how this time goes. At least I know how to handle it better and I know what might be possibly coming - last time was a blindside. 

I also wasn't really ready to get pregnant again, like I said, it just made me nervous to have a newborn. I planned on waiting until Ames was 2 to even start trying to get pregnant but Landon was ready and I kept feeling like it was the right time too so here we are! I'm feeling better as time goes on and once 9 months is up I think I'm going to be pretty baby hungry. 

We have a few names picked out but nothing for sure yet. And as far as it being a boy, Landon was 100% sure it was a girl. I think he had me talked into it too up until the ultrasound. Before then I had been hoping for a girl but always felt we would have another boy first. As soon as the doctor pulled up the ultrasound - it was right on his bum and there was not doubt it was a boy! She said that was the fastest gender reveal she's ever done! 

My plans are also to go natural again. I'm going to a midwife this time and I've already been really happy with the difference. In Iowa I saw a group of doctors which meant I saw someone different each time and the doctor on call delivered Ames. It's been nice to have some consistency and more personalized checkups this time around. 

This little munchkin also had to carry on the miscarriage scare like his brother. At 12 weeks I started bleeding really bad one night just before bed. I didn't feel the need to go to the emergency room but I went straight in to the doctor the next morning. The whole night I hardly slept but kept having this feeling of peace that everything was ok. I couldn't figure out how it could be ok though. I was pretty much 99% sure I had miscarried. I didn't know what else it could be with that much bleeding. Well she pulled up the ultrasound and there was a happy little baby with a perfect heartbeat. I was obviously an emotional wreck.

I will mention that some other very emotional and hard things had happened earlier that week and I did not know how I could pile having another miscarriage (I had a previous miscarriage before I had Ames) on top of it. Seeing that healthy baby was the biggest relief I've had in a long time. It turns out I had a cyst on my ovary that had ruptured and caused all the bleeding. 

Well I will finish my novel. I knew I would regret not writing any of this down or documenting at least some things with this pregnancy. Better late than never! P.S. I've also felt baby boy moving the past couple of weeks. I felt Ames about 20 weeks.