Big News

Yesterday Landon and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary. So crazy to think it's been that long. 

To celebrate we decided to make the big announcement that we are expecting our first baby in November! 

It was so hard to wait so long to tell everyone, especially with so many other people announcing babies at 7 and 8 weeks, but after our first experience last November with a miscarriage, we decided to wait until after the 1st trimester to announce. It's such a relief to make it past that hump and we couldn't be more excited!

We definitely have a busy few months ahead, with the baby being due November 16th, Landon's graduation in mid-December, and then a move back to Utah shorty after, but you do what you have to do when you want a baby. Although I'm usually a worrier, I'm not to concerned about all the craziness ahead, we'll just take it as it comes. 

Luckily I haven't been horribly sick and this week I'm feeling pretty good. The first few weeks food just sounded disgusting but I would feel even more sick if I did't eat regularly, so it was constantly a battle of trying to find something that sounded somewhat good. There where a few days when I subsisted on club crackers and almonds. But like I said, this week that has pretty much gone away. 

As excited as I was to be pregnant, no one ever tells you about all the worry you have in the first 3 months, especially after a bad first experience. Any little thing that wasn't "normal" sent me in to panic mode thinking the worst. I think I had anxiety 24/7 until we heard the heartbeat for a second time at my 10 week appointment. This whole journey has been such a faith building experience. 

I would like to share these experiences with you, not because I want you to know every detail of my life, but because this is my testimony, these are the moments that have shaped it, and I feel that it's meant to be shared to strengthen my own faith and hopefully strengthen anyone else who is going through a similar experience. I know that the trials I've gone through are pretty small compared to the many miscarriages and infertility some women experience, but this is my experience and I feel it's something I should share. 

During the first trimester I had some spotting 2 different times and each time I thought the worst had happened. The first was when we went to Utah and I was about 5 weeks and then again over Conference weekend at 8 weeks. I had just had my first ultrasound and no one told me that it might cause spotting. So when I woke up the next morning and saw it I totally freaked. Landon was gone, but Conference was on so I watched it alone until he got home. I told him I thought something was really wrong this time and so he asked me if I wanted a blessing. I said yes, and in the blessing I was told that this baby would be born healthy and strong and that Heavenly Father knew how much I was ready to be a mother. I didn't believe it. I thought he must be making this up. (Like I said, Heavenly Father knew I really needed to build my faith and trust in him) After the blessing Landon told me he really felt everything was ok. He originally had been prepared to tell me that whatever happened, I would be able to make it though and be strong, but then he felt prompted to tell me flat out that the baby was going to be ok. Of course I continued to worry all through the weekend waiting for the spotting to completely go away, and by Monday it pretty much had, but I called the doctor anyway.

 While I was waiting for the nurse to call me back I sat down and pulled out my scriptures.  

I haven’t been very good about doing personal scripture study, but my bookmark from the last time I started the Book of Mormon from the beginning was still inside my scriptures, so I decided to start there. I opened it up and the bookmark was at 2 Nephi 18 & 19. My eyes were immediately drawn to the only highlighted scripture on the page which was 2 Nephi 19:6 which reads, “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given…” I immediately broke down into more tears and could not believe me eyes. Was I really being given this straightforward of an answer? I decided to start at the beginning of the page, which was chapter 18 and read the whole thing. In this chapter I came upon verse 3 “And I went unto the prophetess; and she conceived and bare a son.” I was overwhelmed with the Spirit. I continued to read both pages (88-89) wondering if there was a deeper meaning I wasn’t getting. Nothing else in the entirety of those two pages really even made sense (it’s Isaiah speaking) so I knew that I had read what I was supposed to read. I knew at the moment that we were going to have a healthy baby. 

Our Father in Heaven knows what we need. He knows when we need a flat out answer (or 2 :)) so that we don't die of anxiety, and he knows when we need to wait a little for our answer, and sometimes that answer is vague, but he does answer. He knows each of us and loves us as his sons and daughters.
Just have faith in him. 

I can't wait to meet this little babe of ours!